AND THE GAMES PEOPLE (MEN) PLAY!

I have often wondered and reflected upon the unwritten rules of this world and the trappings that all of us fall into.

I have often wondered at this complete mad race that women have amongst themselves to look beautiful, and to be desirable at any cost. What is the most potent driver behind this crazy trapping?

I have realised that it has essentially been a man's world. Men have set up the unwritten rules in society so beautifully and completely to their advantage. Men are inherently selfish and think individually. It is only about what they want.

Have women ever paused to think what purpose they are serving by looking beautiful or being (hot) desirable. However, desperately women might deny it, however much they might say that it is to make themselves feel good or put themselves in a power position, the key purpose they serve by being these two things is to satisfy what men want.

A woman's beauty gives a man trophy value and makes him feel good while her desirability feeds his fantasies and physical needs. Her wanting to attract him, feeds his ego and sense of importance. If a woman does this, they respond with praise and attention and keep the women at it. So men have set up this sub conscious trap so beautifully. Making women want to do and be exactly how they would want them to be.

What happens when a woman does not toe the line. If she is not interested in dressing to attract men or in flaunting her sexuality she will invariably be ridiculed by men as frumpy, inhibited, staid or even frigid.

It needs a very confident woman to say that she will not toe the line and do exactly as she pleases. As long as she is unperturbed by the male flak that will come her way and is secure in the knowledge that the man she wants is hers for good and finds her attractive/ desirable. Does she then really need to care about what the rest of the men in the world think about her or her sexuality?

It is interesting to examine male double standards here. A man might dismiss a beautiful but stupid woman who does not flaunt her sexuality as wooden but he will defend, admire and glorify another equally beautiful - stupid woman, but who dresses to please him or exhibits her sexuality to attract him. If the woman is behaving in accordance with how he wants women to behave she is glorified and if not, she is dismissed.

Women might argue that they are getting something out of it too. Power over men, gratification of their own physical needs,happiness etc. However, the key fact still remains that the rules of the game and the terms at which these are obtained still lie with men as all that is happening is for their benefit and as per what they want.I can understand a woman going all out to get the man she wants. Once she has him is it necessary to pander to the male egos in the world at large too?

So all this might not perhaps be all that surprising. What is definitely surprising is that as we are progressing and women are becoming more and more evolved they are conversely becoming more and more enmeshed in this primal trapping. (I saw women dressed in the shortest of skirts, fishnet stockings and spaghettis in Delhi's winter this year - freezing in the cold - but doing their best to look good, attractive and gain the attention which makes them feel good while the men are happily roaming around, warm in their winter best). A trapping which deals with the bottommost rung in the hierarchy of needs in Maslow's pyramid. So isn't there a rapid degradation happening simultaneously with growth and evolution. Do stop and think the next time you want to look hot and post those pics on facebook to feel good:-) - do you want it?!